myriad of thoughts

Myriad thoughts. Numerous facets. Diverse elements.

yes, and so i love. the things i love, aplenty. time + effort + love = beautiful.

yet i hate. i loathe. je deteste.


sometimes i feel drained... i do. it's not that i don't. but i just can't bear to erase that smile from my face. i'm afraid that if i do, it never comes back.

are people selfish? do they really care about themselves more than they do about others? i'm about to refute that. at times, i think i'm rather selfless, i'm nt bragging or trying to portray a 'goody' or 'noble' image. yet, there are those who think i'm selfish.

of course, selfish and selfless are on a continuum. you can lie anywhere on that line... a mix of 30% selfless + 70% selfish, etc...

living for others. doing things for ppl. caring about them. caring for them. sometimes i wana give up. i wana be a more self-centred person, will tt be better?

wad if i choose to care more abt myself? or some wld say, i shld choose to love myself more, or learn how to love myself... maybe i won't be so hurt. maybe i won't be so upset. is that really what i want? is that what it ought to be?

je ne sais pas.